“Do I misunderstand, or are you referring to me, sir?” I grabbed a warm beer off the floor, cracked it open, and raised it in a mock toast. And societal norms dictate you ought to spend your birthday with those you’re closest to.” “I’m fine, House,” I said around a mouthful of spicy tuna. Been down that road too many times before, and I know exactly where it leads.” “I don’t have any interest in having a girlfriend who thinks I should pay her rent two months into a relationship just because I can. “Perhaps Stephanie, then? You haven’t responded to her messages, and she has been trying to contact you for the better part of a month.” I’m still annoyed I ever considered him a friend.” “Why? So he can spend the whole evening hounding me to invest in whatever doomed product he’s currently pushing? Yeah, no.” I skewered a piece of volcano roll with a plastic fork and shoveled it into my mouth. “With all due respect,” House said, “a meal designed for a family of four is never healthy when eaten alone. “There’s nothing wrong with rice and fish,” I said. She was a one-of-kind AI I’d inherited from my father, and while she made for a pretty effective digital maid, she could be a little overbearing.

“Are you certain I can’t order you something healthier, sir?” House said, her toneless voice sounding from every direction at once. I took off my pants, grabbed the four-person sushi platter I’d ordered off the kitchen counter, and plopped onto the couch.

Shadeslinger by Kyle Kirrin